I had trouble sleeping last night, so I decided to listen to some Jerram Barrs podcasts I had downloaded a while back. And in one of them he said that one of the greatest heresies today is the idea that we have control over what will happen to us...(I don't have the exact quote since I was laying in bed hoping to fall back asleep, not taking notes.) But it makes sense. I know my own sense of control can get out of hand, that grasping desire to do everything for myself so I won't have to lean on anyone else (including God). Sure, I give God the lip service, but when it comes down to it, I have to admit that very often the trust is in myself alone. If I worry enough, maybe the good things will happen... If I consider every alternative perhaps disaster can be averted... It's a delicate balance between living irresponsibly and trying to take too much control, living in fear that even hoping for something will ensure it will not happen. Maybe the answer is in remembering who God is. That he is good. That he has the capability of turning even the most horrific of circumstances into something good...
Maybe the answer is in paying more attention to him and less attention to what I may or may not be doing or fearing might go wrong.
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