Here is a song I've been thinking about a lot today. It's a song about how short life is...and learning to hold on to love throughout it. Enjoy. :-)
domingo, 29 de enero de 2012
Thoughts...
Wow, it's already almost February...
If things keep going this way, I have a feeling I'll be going home for summer before I know it...
Yet there is part of me that holds my breath, wondering if it will really go that smoothly, especially after the eventfulness of last semester. So far this semester has been productive but peaceful, no big surprises...and thus far the quietness of it has been welcome.
I'm finding I'm not stressing as much as I used to. Learning to live in today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
I think it's a mindset that snuck up one me. A process... I guess I've just gotten to the point that I don't want to borrow trouble anymore. Perhaps it came about as a result of looking back with 20/20 vision and seeing a greater hand was guiding things even when I was not aware it was happening. And maybe it is the result of reaching the end of what I can worry about on my own, and maybe I also just got tired of tormenting myself...
Whatever the reason, I have found myself relaxing more. Living today. Trusting that tomorrow I will have the energy to walk through whatever tomorrow brings...
And so far it's working well.
I look back at the last week and tend to think it was a quiet week...but I think it's just that my perspective has changed. If I had been looking for something to worry about, there would have been plenty to choose from. But being aware and then trusting...it's far, far better.
If things keep going this way, I have a feeling I'll be going home for summer before I know it...
Yet there is part of me that holds my breath, wondering if it will really go that smoothly, especially after the eventfulness of last semester. So far this semester has been productive but peaceful, no big surprises...and thus far the quietness of it has been welcome.
I'm finding I'm not stressing as much as I used to. Learning to live in today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
I think it's a mindset that snuck up one me. A process... I guess I've just gotten to the point that I don't want to borrow trouble anymore. Perhaps it came about as a result of looking back with 20/20 vision and seeing a greater hand was guiding things even when I was not aware it was happening. And maybe it is the result of reaching the end of what I can worry about on my own, and maybe I also just got tired of tormenting myself...
Whatever the reason, I have found myself relaxing more. Living today. Trusting that tomorrow I will have the energy to walk through whatever tomorrow brings...
And so far it's working well.
I look back at the last week and tend to think it was a quiet week...but I think it's just that my perspective has changed. If I had been looking for something to worry about, there would have been plenty to choose from. But being aware and then trusting...it's far, far better.
domingo, 22 de enero de 2012
And my buddies...
the fleas.
That's right--they're back again. Not full force, but enough to let me know they're there. Not sure if they are in the house or just jumping on me in the street to say hello.
I was thinking today, though--with how prevalent fleas were in the Middle Ages, I would think my ancestors would have developed an immunity over time that would have worked its way down to me...
But apparently not.
Oh, well, Guatemala...I guess I'll just respond with an "I love you, too." :-)
That's right--they're back again. Not full force, but enough to let me know they're there. Not sure if they are in the house or just jumping on me in the street to say hello.
I was thinking today, though--with how prevalent fleas were in the Middle Ages, I would think my ancestors would have developed an immunity over time that would have worked its way down to me...
But apparently not.
Oh, well, Guatemala...I guess I'll just respond with an "I love you, too." :-)
The last two weeks...
My apologies for taking so long to post to this blog again...
To give an update of the past couple of weeks--
1--I decided to sign on for two more years at the school. It took a lot of prayer and consideration to get to that point, but now that it's done, I'm excited to see what the next couple of years will bring. A little nervous, yes, but that's okay.
2--Some of you may have heard about the earthquake yesterday that was centered near the Guatemalan border in southern Mexico. We did feel it here. We often get little tremors that just shake the furniture a little bit (the kind you hardly even notice unless you are sitting or lying down). But yesterday's was stronger and lasted longer--sufficient to frighten people enough to run outside.
I was out with a couple of friends at a mountainside restaurant when it happened. We had just sat down at a plastic table outside, taking in the view overlooking the city. It was funny because I was just thinking as I sat down, "This wouldn't be a very good place to be sitting in an earthquake..." Then, just as I brushed the thought out of my mind, reminding myself all would be okay, and got comfortable, the ground started to shake. One friend was sitting right near the edge on a chair set up to take in the view. We jumped up and moved toward safety as the three employees in the restaurant ran outside, exclaiming over how long the shaking was lasting and looking a little frightened and then laughing at their fear. Then, when all was still, people pulled out cell phones to check with family members to make sure all was well.
Just like in America, conversation centered around that topic for quite some time afterwards. What they had heard about the earthquake in other parts of town, sharing theories about why Guatemala tends to have more tremors this time of year and whether the shaking is felt more the higher up one gets in the mountains...
But all in all, all was well. Some pictures fell off walls. Some sectors of town lost phone service for a short while afterwards. But I didn't hear of any serious damage. Just of people being startled and running outside in case the houses started to fall.
Hopefully we won't have any more like it for a while.
3--I had middle school chapel the past two weeks. Since this month's theme is kindness, I showed clips from the movie To Save a Life and discussed how we can move forward from past mistakes in how we have treated others and how we can change the way we interact with others now.
4--I've also been settling into my new job responsibilities. I am now the literacy coordinator in addition to Spanish teacher, so my day goes between teaching my students, working with struggling readers, conferencing with teachers, and going to meetings and preparing for the school-wide writing samples. I have had to start carrying my agenda with me everywhere I go to make sure I am at the right place at the right time, but I am enjoying the variety.
5--I found a Catholic church here that I really enjoy visiting. During the week, it's a quiet place to go to pray, and on weekends I enjoy the mass. One thing I have noticed about the Catholic churches here is that they always seem to be so very crowded on Sundays. Weekend masses typically have every pew filled with as many people as each one can hold, plus plastic chairs and stools set up along the aisles and the back of the church as well as a crowd of people standing in the back. While in the U.S. we might at this point consider stepping into a major building project, here it seems to just be accepted as the status quo. From the number of masses at some churches, my guess is they simply add more masses to the schedule if things get overcrowded.
Today the Scripture readings had to do with Jonah avoiding his calling to go to Nineveh and Jesus calling James and John when they were fishing in their father's boat. The priest spoke about the need to ask God what He would have us do with our lives. And he asked us to identify those fears that might be holding us back from doing those things. This life is hard, with a great deal of violence and uncertainty, but he said that God has the power to make things new and better. But we need to look at the situation in which we find ourselves, that specific life that God has given us, and ask God what He would have us do with it.
It was surprised by his boldness in mentioning events in Guatemala's recent history, calling people to account and warning them to learn from history so those things do not happen again. Guatemala's new president was inaugurated last weekend, and the priest made reference to the new president's plan to make Guatemala safer but said everyone plays a role in making Guatemala better.
He also made reference to priests and bishops in Guatemala who have been killed in their efforts to bring reform to the country. One in particular that I remember learning about when I was here before was assassinated after he gathered information about the human rights violations that took place during the civil war and made those results known. It kind of reminds me of the story of Oscar Romero in El Salvador, who was also murdered for his attempts to speak up against much of what was happening in the country.
It takes courage to speak out about those things.
At the end of the service, we sang a song along this theme...of following where God would have us go. I have included the songs in English and in Spanish.
To give an update of the past couple of weeks--
1--I decided to sign on for two more years at the school. It took a lot of prayer and consideration to get to that point, but now that it's done, I'm excited to see what the next couple of years will bring. A little nervous, yes, but that's okay.
2--Some of you may have heard about the earthquake yesterday that was centered near the Guatemalan border in southern Mexico. We did feel it here. We often get little tremors that just shake the furniture a little bit (the kind you hardly even notice unless you are sitting or lying down). But yesterday's was stronger and lasted longer--sufficient to frighten people enough to run outside.
I was out with a couple of friends at a mountainside restaurant when it happened. We had just sat down at a plastic table outside, taking in the view overlooking the city. It was funny because I was just thinking as I sat down, "This wouldn't be a very good place to be sitting in an earthquake..." Then, just as I brushed the thought out of my mind, reminding myself all would be okay, and got comfortable, the ground started to shake. One friend was sitting right near the edge on a chair set up to take in the view. We jumped up and moved toward safety as the three employees in the restaurant ran outside, exclaiming over how long the shaking was lasting and looking a little frightened and then laughing at their fear. Then, when all was still, people pulled out cell phones to check with family members to make sure all was well.
Just like in America, conversation centered around that topic for quite some time afterwards. What they had heard about the earthquake in other parts of town, sharing theories about why Guatemala tends to have more tremors this time of year and whether the shaking is felt more the higher up one gets in the mountains...
But all in all, all was well. Some pictures fell off walls. Some sectors of town lost phone service for a short while afterwards. But I didn't hear of any serious damage. Just of people being startled and running outside in case the houses started to fall.
Hopefully we won't have any more like it for a while.
3--I had middle school chapel the past two weeks. Since this month's theme is kindness, I showed clips from the movie To Save a Life and discussed how we can move forward from past mistakes in how we have treated others and how we can change the way we interact with others now.
4--I've also been settling into my new job responsibilities. I am now the literacy coordinator in addition to Spanish teacher, so my day goes between teaching my students, working with struggling readers, conferencing with teachers, and going to meetings and preparing for the school-wide writing samples. I have had to start carrying my agenda with me everywhere I go to make sure I am at the right place at the right time, but I am enjoying the variety.
5--I found a Catholic church here that I really enjoy visiting. During the week, it's a quiet place to go to pray, and on weekends I enjoy the mass. One thing I have noticed about the Catholic churches here is that they always seem to be so very crowded on Sundays. Weekend masses typically have every pew filled with as many people as each one can hold, plus plastic chairs and stools set up along the aisles and the back of the church as well as a crowd of people standing in the back. While in the U.S. we might at this point consider stepping into a major building project, here it seems to just be accepted as the status quo. From the number of masses at some churches, my guess is they simply add more masses to the schedule if things get overcrowded.
Today the Scripture readings had to do with Jonah avoiding his calling to go to Nineveh and Jesus calling James and John when they were fishing in their father's boat. The priest spoke about the need to ask God what He would have us do with our lives. And he asked us to identify those fears that might be holding us back from doing those things. This life is hard, with a great deal of violence and uncertainty, but he said that God has the power to make things new and better. But we need to look at the situation in which we find ourselves, that specific life that God has given us, and ask God what He would have us do with it.
It was surprised by his boldness in mentioning events in Guatemala's recent history, calling people to account and warning them to learn from history so those things do not happen again. Guatemala's new president was inaugurated last weekend, and the priest made reference to the new president's plan to make Guatemala safer but said everyone plays a role in making Guatemala better.
He also made reference to priests and bishops in Guatemala who have been killed in their efforts to bring reform to the country. One in particular that I remember learning about when I was here before was assassinated after he gathered information about the human rights violations that took place during the civil war and made those results known. It kind of reminds me of the story of Oscar Romero in El Salvador, who was also murdered for his attempts to speak up against much of what was happening in the country.
It takes courage to speak out about those things.
At the end of the service, we sang a song along this theme...of following where God would have us go. I have included the songs in English and in Spanish.
sábado, 7 de enero de 2012
And a security blanket...
Linus carries his blanket around with him everywhere he goes. Most of us probably remembering doing something similar when we were small.
When I came to Guatemala the first time, I brought a teddy bear, and it worked well for a while...but I now have a policy against taking any kind of stuffed animals with me overseas. I won't go into the details of that story now--just let it suffice to say it wasn't pretty and I don't want to see it happen again.
So teddy bears are no longer an option.
So this time I decided to bring a book on ancient Greek. My reasoning? Learning Greek is something I have wanted to do for a very long time. I actually bought this book several years ago as a safeguard when it looked like I might be facing a difficult situation that would put some lonely time on my hands. I ended up not needing it, and the book gathered dust on the bookshelf until I came home this last Christmas. Then as I thought of the challenges of being in Guatemala, I decided to dust the book off and use it for that purpose again.
This way, should life get lonely or difficult, at least I'll learn Greek.
And if life goes well, then I'll bring the book back in my suitcase, virtually untouched, knowing other things more important took its place.
It's not that learning Greek would truly make life that much easier, not any more than Linus's blanket can protect him from harm, but it does bring comfort--in remembering that I have dreams away from here, lifting me out, temporarily, from the present moment. And sometimes that distance is needed to gain a little perspective.
A good security blanket, if I do say so myself. :-) What's yours?
When I came to Guatemala the first time, I brought a teddy bear, and it worked well for a while...but I now have a policy against taking any kind of stuffed animals with me overseas. I won't go into the details of that story now--just let it suffice to say it wasn't pretty and I don't want to see it happen again.
So teddy bears are no longer an option.
So this time I decided to bring a book on ancient Greek. My reasoning? Learning Greek is something I have wanted to do for a very long time. I actually bought this book several years ago as a safeguard when it looked like I might be facing a difficult situation that would put some lonely time on my hands. I ended up not needing it, and the book gathered dust on the bookshelf until I came home this last Christmas. Then as I thought of the challenges of being in Guatemala, I decided to dust the book off and use it for that purpose again.
This way, should life get lonely or difficult, at least I'll learn Greek.
And if life goes well, then I'll bring the book back in my suitcase, virtually untouched, knowing other things more important took its place.
It's not that learning Greek would truly make life that much easier, not any more than Linus's blanket can protect him from harm, but it does bring comfort--in remembering that I have dreams away from here, lifting me out, temporarily, from the present moment. And sometimes that distance is needed to gain a little perspective.
A good security blanket, if I do say so myself. :-) What's yours?
Chance Encounters
Yesterday, as the flight attendant was passing drinks over my head, I began to reminisce about times I've had drinks spilled on me while riding on airplanes...
Orange juice on my sleeve...
Apple juice in my lap...
The apple juice incident was memorable...not because of the spill, but because of the person who was talking to me when it happened.
This person was telling me about his life, how he had moved so many times it no longer bothered him to have to let friendships go (he actually used a more crass expression for it, but I'll leave that part up to your imagination). I wondered at his attitude, whether what he said was for real. I, too, had moved a lot, but I knew, in my case, it was just bravado. Even when I acted "tough" or nonchalant about it, I knew, deep down, there was pain in uprooting and pain in letting go.
I've learned how to do it, but that doesn't make it easy. It's even hard to see a friendship change. To go from daily contact to a long-distance relationship. Or any of the other myriad changes that come up between people as we go through our lives.
I know it can be tempting to harden my heart and bluff my way right through it, but I don't think that's the way that's always best...
I think my cousin said it best at our last family gathering: "We'll all be together someday..." Those who have died, those who still live...those who are simply living far away.
Because we all live with uncertainty and relationships that are constantly changing.
I think there is a way to care and continue letting go. A way to keep the heart open while life is slipping through our hands...
A way to love and ask for more, not letting the risks keep us from choosing to try again...
Orange juice on my sleeve...
Apple juice in my lap...
The apple juice incident was memorable...not because of the spill, but because of the person who was talking to me when it happened.
This person was telling me about his life, how he had moved so many times it no longer bothered him to have to let friendships go (he actually used a more crass expression for it, but I'll leave that part up to your imagination). I wondered at his attitude, whether what he said was for real. I, too, had moved a lot, but I knew, in my case, it was just bravado. Even when I acted "tough" or nonchalant about it, I knew, deep down, there was pain in uprooting and pain in letting go.
I've learned how to do it, but that doesn't make it easy. It's even hard to see a friendship change. To go from daily contact to a long-distance relationship. Or any of the other myriad changes that come up between people as we go through our lives.
I know it can be tempting to harden my heart and bluff my way right through it, but I don't think that's the way that's always best...
I think my cousin said it best at our last family gathering: "We'll all be together someday..." Those who have died, those who still live...those who are simply living far away.
Because we all live with uncertainty and relationships that are constantly changing.
I think there is a way to care and continue letting go. A way to keep the heart open while life is slipping through our hands...
A way to love and ask for more, not letting the risks keep us from choosing to try again...
Transitions
I made it back to Guatemala today...a half day of airplane travel, a night at a bed and breakfast in Guatemala City, and a nearly four hour bus ride on winding mountain roads...
Sometimes I'm glad that it takes a little time and effort to make it back and forth. To just zap myself home like somebody on Star Wars could be disorienting (although I won't argue that there are definite benefits to being able to travel home that quickly). It's just that sometimes that extra time is needed to let go and start looking forward. No matter which direction I go, leaving or returning, it is always difficult to leave and adapt to someplace new.
So I am glad this journey took a little longer...because by last night I was ready for the Bed and Breakfast. By the time the bus rolled into town today, I was almost ready...enough to take a deep breath and face what was coming. I'm not quite ready to dive into everything, but I have a couple of days to ease into it before moving forward full speed.
Little by little, a day at a time...
Sometimes I'm glad that it takes a little time and effort to make it back and forth. To just zap myself home like somebody on Star Wars could be disorienting (although I won't argue that there are definite benefits to being able to travel home that quickly). It's just that sometimes that extra time is needed to let go and start looking forward. No matter which direction I go, leaving or returning, it is always difficult to leave and adapt to someplace new.
So I am glad this journey took a little longer...because by last night I was ready for the Bed and Breakfast. By the time the bus rolled into town today, I was almost ready...enough to take a deep breath and face what was coming. I'm not quite ready to dive into everything, but I have a couple of days to ease into it before moving forward full speed.
Little by little, a day at a time...
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