Guatemala has changed...I hear it in the English that is spoken when I walk into the stores.  I see it in the foreigners and the items on the shelves...The city is changing...

No more carrying my laundry to school in a plastic bag.  No more trudging through the dust and up the giant hill to reach my classroom at the beginning of every day.

Now there is a bus and washing machines and there is internet access at the fast food place on the corner.

There's shopping...or so I've heard.  So much more can be found here than I could ever find before.

I like the convenience, but I miss what Guatemala was, the immersion in the culture...

Maybe that side of Guatemala is still here waiting.  Maybe I can find it, tucked away just out of sight.

I met with my old host mother today, the one I lived with the two years I was here before.  She said I should never feel alone--that I can call her day or night and she will come get me if I need her to.  I can spend the night at her house, drop by without calling, stop in for supper...that I'm always welcome to spend time with the family.

Odd how I feel more at home with her and her Spanish than I do this more Americanized version of Guatemalan life all around me.  Stranger still how much I miss it, how much it pulls on me, how much it feels like coming home.

Maybe the Guatemala I remember still lingers.  Maybe it is still there beneath the surface.  Maybe the Americanization is a facade and the heart of this beloved country still beats strongly, just as true.

I hope it does and intend to look for it.