Change

I used to think God's blessing meant that everything would go smoothly.  You know, you've probably heard the stories people tell at church and on missions trips about the way everything came through smoothly, how they experienced "the hand of God"...

I was thinking about that this morning because this trip has not been a smooth one, outwardly speaking.  But yet internally there has been a bit of calm from the storm. 

Guess God's blessing isn't all about making our circumstances run smoothly...

I was talking with another one of the teachers the other day, about the complicated twists and turns life has taken over the years, the challenges, the hardships, the years that can go by before an issue is resolved...and she said something about learning the most from the times that were hard.

I would have denied that with a vengeance when I was younger.  But now that I am older and have walked that road, I know without a doubt that it is true.  Because the fact of the matter is that Guatemala has changed, but I have changed, too.  A lot.  So much so that when I walk the streets of this beloved city, I sometimes don't even feel like I'm me.  I was on recess duty today, watching this new generation of kids run around the playground where I had watched other children run years before, and I felt disjointed as the images of memory melded with the physical before me.  I was standing in the same place where I remembered standing so many times before, but I feel more solid this time, more real.  I marvel at it, really...even though there is still so much of it I don't understand.