I stressed myself out earlier today. I realized as I was on elementary lunch duty that I had missed out on almost all of the first half of the day. Sure, I did my work. I was physically there. But I was withdrawn, not connected...unaware of so much of what was really going on around me. And why did I do this? Upon further reflection, I realized it was because I don't have all the answers for what might happen in the next twenty years.
That's right. Twenty years.
As if I might have any way of knowing what might happen between now and then. Twenty years is a long time. I didn't even know I was coming here until the end of June. And that was totally unexpected...
And there I was beating myself up because I didn't have a solid plan for twenty or so years still to come...
That's when I realized I needed to intentionally pull my mind back into the here and now.
The light flickering on the leaves...
A bug dancing in the grass...
The breeze on my face...
The arc of a football...
The sun on my shoulders...
Back to all the joys of a bright September day.
And you know what? It worked. The rest of the day went incredibly well. I went from dragging myself from one duty to the next to actually living them and enjoying them.
The next twenty years can take care of themselves.
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