Earthquakes and Volcanoes

I woke up this morning to a major jolt in my bed.  Just one.  I woke up enough to make sure the roof wasn't caving in and no more tremors were following after it and then fell back asleep again.  Usually the tremors are more of a side to side motion, but this was more vertical and all at once.  A little scary.

I don't know whether it is related or not, but there is a volcano near Guatemala City (Volcan de Fuego) that began shooting ash and lava today.  They have raised the level of alert, closing some sections of the highway, though they haven't evacuated any areas.  They have notified the airport, though they are just being alert and monitoring the situation.  There have been no changes made to flights at the airport as of yet.  (And hopefully there will not be...)

Two years ago a different volcano near the capital became active, and all of the ash shooting up in the air resulted in the airport closing down.  Some teachers at the school here at that time had to take a bus into Honduras in order to catch a flight home.  To give you some perspective, we live four hours from the capital, and Honduras is (I think) an additional six or eight hours beyond that when traveling by bus.  Plus you have to pass through customs at the border, all before reaching the airport to go through all the customs and security procedures all over again...

If I have to take a bus to Honduras (after all that has happened this past year), I think I will cry.  It's not that going to Honduras would be the worst possible thing that would happen.  It's just that I have moments already when I wonder if I will ever be able to actually get out of here.  I realize it's not entirely rational, but there are moments, as I'm getting hit with yet another complication, when returning to America appears to be an impossible dream.  I am planning for it, yes, but will it really happen?  Or will some other disaster strike that will keep me from doing that, too?

Unless I hear otherwise, I am going to assume my trip home will go smoothly.  There is no reason to worry about it now when the airport is still open.  And God is still good...even if things seem complicated at the time...

I was thinking about that this morning.  How I heard an interview once (I think it was with Billy Graham, but I'm not completely sure) where the reporter asked a Christian if he was afraid to die.  And the man responded by saying he was not afraid of death, but rather the way in which he might die.  I know God brings good from what happens.  That it all works together as part of a greater plan.  (Well, okay, most of the time I remember this and believe it whole-heartedly--in the midst of the moment I'm sometimes not sure).  But it's not always convenient.  It's often downright hard.

And there are times I wish I could be one of those people who plaster a smile on my face and firmly believe with all that is in me that what God wants for my best is what will be painless and convenient.  If only I could meander through life on a path that moved so smoothly.

But no.  Life happens.  And life goes any way but smoothly.  It's an uphill climb more often than not.  You get through one struggle, finally take a breather, see how far you've come, only to be sideswiped and have to begin the painful struggling again.  It's all good, but the good isn't so evident until after the fact...

I was thinking about that the other day...I had to walk to the hospital, and my mind went back to all the other times I walked that path...how, at first, I needed a ride in a car because I was too sick to do it on my own.  Then how I could walk it but it left me worn out.  Then I could walk, but it felt like there was resistance fighting back, like walking in water.  But now, over three months later, I can do it with energy to spare.  I am finally feeling back to normal again.  Finally, after nearly three and a half months...

I am really glad I didn't know when it started how long the process would be.  The string of illnesses.  Sometimes there is comfort in at least being able to hope tomorrow will be better.

Rainy season has started again.  At least I think it has.  We had a false start a few week ago, so perhaps the rains will let up and there will be a reprieve.  My host family put in a barrier that they can put in place in front of the garage door in case the heavy rains come again.  Many homes in this neighborhood have done the same.  Hopefully it will help to keep the houses from flooding again.  But the floods are really part of a much bigger problem.  The barriers can control the symptoms, but until the layout of the city is arranged to allow for drainage of the water that flows from other parts of town to settle in this area, the streets will continue to flood whenever unusually heavy rainfall occurs.  But hopefully the barriers will at least keep the waters and the mud out of homes...that way, at least, it will only be the streets that need the work.

There is a fine line between letting go and keeping hope.  Trusting in God's goodness while accepting the way things go...

I finished a Madeleine L'Engle book today, A Ring of Endless Light, in which a character says that prayer isn't about getting what you want. 

"Prayer was never meant to be magic," Mother said.
"Then why bother with it?" Suzy scowled.
"Because it's an act of love," Mother said.

So maybe prayer isn't about earthquakes and floods and volcanoes.  Maybe that's part of it, and maybe God will act.  Maybe it has more to do with finding God...somehow connecting with Him in the midst of it.

I just can't say I know all of the details about how all of that works.