Confusing...

I saw him in a grocery store a few months ago...young, dirty.  First asked me for a quetzal and then broadened the request to include groceries.  I bought them and thought it was done.

Then I ran into him again at a pharmacy...Well, not "ran into" exactly.  I saw him walking by on the street (trying to place where I had seen him before) and he came inside to greet me.  And ask for money...

I wasn't entirely comfortable with that, but he said he needed the money for medicine, and he did have a nasty-sounding cough...

So I gave him the money.  He lingered, alternating between smiling at the people in line (some of whom were giving him dirty looks) and avoiding their eyes. 

He did indeed buy amoxicillan, but then, outside the pharmacy he decided to ask for more money.

He stopped talking whenever other people came into earshot.  Some confusing story about needing money to pay for medicine on the coast, that he owed somebody, begging me to help him pay for it.  Promising to pay me back if I meet him outside a specific place this Saturday.  Then wanting money for a birthday gift for his mother.  I told him I would feel better helping him buy the gift instead of giving money.  He said, standing with his back to one side of a parked car (hiding, I sensed, from the way he was looking anxiously around him) that he couldn't in this neighborhood.  Too many people know him.  He could get mugged.  He was afraid...

So I started to ask him why he was afraid.  "I don't know" was his answer.  Was someone forcing him to do something against his will?  He said no and went back to asking for money.  Begging.  Promising to pay me back.  Telling me he was sick and his sister was a lot worse.   He got down on his knees on the curb to ask me again.

In the end, I gave him the money.  In spite of my better judgment.  It wasn't a lot by American standards, but I know it's a lot for a kid walking alone on the street to be carrying in his pocket. 

And now I am confused, wondering if I did something wrong or even dangerous.  Knowing if I see him again, I will have to say no.  It's not a good idea to be giving money out that way in the Guatemalan streets.  No way of knowing what could be perpetuated or if I'm making myself a more obvious target. 

One thing is for sure--I plan to avoid the place he claimed to meet me so he could pay me back the money.  Just in case there is something else at work.

And frustrated.  Wishing it didn't need to be so complicated.  Wishing I knew the culture better and the best way to respond.  And wishing I didn't stand out so much to bring larger numbers of these kinds of situations to my attention.

The asking gets so complicated.  And receiving help sometimes only makes the problem worse.  Or leads to the person returning to ask for more and more and more...not a long-term solution to the problem.