Order in Chaos

And on a side note...

As I was walking to a mass for the graduating seniors this afternoon after school, I heard a crash shortly after I crossed the street and turned to see a car flipped on its side.  The windshield was shattered.  A man was writhing on the ground holding his stomach...

And a people in the area immediately swarmed in.  One man giving orders about calling the firemen right away.  The man on the ground was moved.   The car was lifted right-side up again.  An older woman in traditional indiginous clothes who looked very shaken was seated in the backseat of the car and given water.  I watched for a few minutes and then left, realizing I wasn't needed.  But I was impressed with the order.  The calm.  The way the bystanders immediately took control of the situation.

It was the same last Friday with the floods.  The alarm bell rang in our neighborhood because residents had heard traffic couldn't pass in the nearby park.  This notified the neighbors to take action to close up their houses, move vehicles if they needed to, and even go outside with poles to clean the drains.  The floodwaters came, but by that time manhole covers had been lifted, cars were moved to higher ground, and protective barriers were placed over doors.  And when the flood waters receded, the neighborhood also went to work to clean the mud. 

In a country where the authorities can not always be trusted to do what is necessary in a given situation, the people have taken it upon themselves to do what needs to be done instead.  While there isn't always this level of cooperation, it was good to see it in these two situations.

Last Day...

We had our last day of finals today.  One final exam.  The signing of yearbooks.  Then finishing up grades for report cards and organizing my materials for the teacher next year, giving administration the materials they needed from us, and then handing over my keys.  Then we were done.

Not done completely, because there is still graduation to get through.  But still...

There is something special about those moments when you can look back and see the whole of what was done.  It's a perspective that sees so much more than when you are in the minute-by-minute turmoil of activity and sometimes seeming chaos.  There has been so much this past year that seemed like chaos.  But in working with the students, in the midst of all of that, there were times of pure gold.

There were many trials in this past year, but working with the students was not part of it.  I have really enjoyed working with them and am so, so glad I took the opportunity to come back.  Not that I want to go back and relive any of those harder moments.  And not that I am changing my mind about what is coming and want to turn back. 

I am content with my decision.  I'm just really thankful for the chance to have perspective.  To see pieces of this adventure I didn't notice until the end.  Elements that were right under my nose the entire time waiting to be revealed so I could recognize them. 

My students were wonderful.  And being with them this past year has changed my perspective of myself, my life, and where I see my future.  It has been really good to come back and reconnect with them. To see where life has taken them.  Begin to see the path of where they might be going.  To see a graduating senior, remember them as a fourth grader, and then speculate as to what the future years might hold. 

It's amazing...

A hidden blessing.

Sumergeme

A friend reminded me of this song recently.  I have always found its raw emotion refreshing.  (There is a rough translation of the lyrics below.)




Submerge me.

Tired from the journey
Thirsty for you
A desert I have crossed
It took all my strength
I come to you

I fought like a soldier
Experienced suffering
Although I've won the battle
My armour is worn out
I come to you

Submerge me
In the river of your Spirit
I need to refresh
This dry heart
Thirsty for you

Getting close...

Hopefully in a week from now I will already be home. 

Things have been a little crazy.  A lightning storm Thursday night knocked out the clocks, phone, and internet (as well as the power overnight, though that at least was back on by the time we got to school in the morning).  Phones, clocks, and wireless internet are not back yet, though internet though cables is back up and running. 

Then, Friday night, our street flooded again, though this time, thankfully, the water didn't rise enough to come inside.  Just enough to cover the street in mud, keep cars from being able to come through, and have everybody anxiously watching to see if the house would flood.  Some houses did.  But this time, our house did not. 

We're into finals week.  Finals and graduation.  Then it will be time to make our way home. 

I would appreciate any prayers for safe travel this weekend.  With the rains and mountains, I am hoping there won't be landslides and that the visibility and road conditions will be good. 

I'm looking forward to coming back to America!

Earthquakes and Volcanoes

I woke up this morning to a major jolt in my bed.  Just one.  I woke up enough to make sure the roof wasn't caving in and no more tremors were following after it and then fell back asleep again.  Usually the tremors are more of a side to side motion, but this was more vertical and all at once.  A little scary.

I don't know whether it is related or not, but there is a volcano near Guatemala City (Volcan de Fuego) that began shooting ash and lava today.  They have raised the level of alert, closing some sections of the highway, though they haven't evacuated any areas.  They have notified the airport, though they are just being alert and monitoring the situation.  There have been no changes made to flights at the airport as of yet.  (And hopefully there will not be...)

Two years ago a different volcano near the capital became active, and all of the ash shooting up in the air resulted in the airport closing down.  Some teachers at the school here at that time had to take a bus into Honduras in order to catch a flight home.  To give you some perspective, we live four hours from the capital, and Honduras is (I think) an additional six or eight hours beyond that when traveling by bus.  Plus you have to pass through customs at the border, all before reaching the airport to go through all the customs and security procedures all over again...

If I have to take a bus to Honduras (after all that has happened this past year), I think I will cry.  It's not that going to Honduras would be the worst possible thing that would happen.  It's just that I have moments already when I wonder if I will ever be able to actually get out of here.  I realize it's not entirely rational, but there are moments, as I'm getting hit with yet another complication, when returning to America appears to be an impossible dream.  I am planning for it, yes, but will it really happen?  Or will some other disaster strike that will keep me from doing that, too?

Unless I hear otherwise, I am going to assume my trip home will go smoothly.  There is no reason to worry about it now when the airport is still open.  And God is still good...even if things seem complicated at the time...

I was thinking about that this morning.  How I heard an interview once (I think it was with Billy Graham, but I'm not completely sure) where the reporter asked a Christian if he was afraid to die.  And the man responded by saying he was not afraid of death, but rather the way in which he might die.  I know God brings good from what happens.  That it all works together as part of a greater plan.  (Well, okay, most of the time I remember this and believe it whole-heartedly--in the midst of the moment I'm sometimes not sure).  But it's not always convenient.  It's often downright hard.

And there are times I wish I could be one of those people who plaster a smile on my face and firmly believe with all that is in me that what God wants for my best is what will be painless and convenient.  If only I could meander through life on a path that moved so smoothly.

But no.  Life happens.  And life goes any way but smoothly.  It's an uphill climb more often than not.  You get through one struggle, finally take a breather, see how far you've come, only to be sideswiped and have to begin the painful struggling again.  It's all good, but the good isn't so evident until after the fact...

I was thinking about that the other day...I had to walk to the hospital, and my mind went back to all the other times I walked that path...how, at first, I needed a ride in a car because I was too sick to do it on my own.  Then how I could walk it but it left me worn out.  Then I could walk, but it felt like there was resistance fighting back, like walking in water.  But now, over three months later, I can do it with energy to spare.  I am finally feeling back to normal again.  Finally, after nearly three and a half months...

I am really glad I didn't know when it started how long the process would be.  The string of illnesses.  Sometimes there is comfort in at least being able to hope tomorrow will be better.

Rainy season has started again.  At least I think it has.  We had a false start a few week ago, so perhaps the rains will let up and there will be a reprieve.  My host family put in a barrier that they can put in place in front of the garage door in case the heavy rains come again.  Many homes in this neighborhood have done the same.  Hopefully it will help to keep the houses from flooding again.  But the floods are really part of a much bigger problem.  The barriers can control the symptoms, but until the layout of the city is arranged to allow for drainage of the water that flows from other parts of town to settle in this area, the streets will continue to flood whenever unusually heavy rainfall occurs.  But hopefully the barriers will at least keep the waters and the mud out of homes...that way, at least, it will only be the streets that need the work.

There is a fine line between letting go and keeping hope.  Trusting in God's goodness while accepting the way things go...

I finished a Madeleine L'Engle book today, A Ring of Endless Light, in which a character says that prayer isn't about getting what you want. 

"Prayer was never meant to be magic," Mother said.
"Then why bother with it?" Suzy scowled.
"Because it's an act of love," Mother said.

So maybe prayer isn't about earthquakes and floods and volcanoes.  Maybe that's part of it, and maybe God will act.  Maybe it has more to do with finding God...somehow connecting with Him in the midst of it.

I just can't say I know all of the details about how all of that works.

Turbulence

I found myself telling a friend that I hope my trip home goes smoothly...and I realized that, if it does, it will actually be going contrary to much of the rest of the trip.

Not the entire trip...my travels home and back for Christmas went exceptionally well. So I have at least sufficient reason to hope the remainder of this trip will be the same.

But "smooth sailing" cannot be said for this trip to Guatemala.

I caught myself getting nostalgic about the typhoid earlier today. I know my emotions are going up and down as I'm getting ready to leave, but that's a little ridiculous.

But maybe that's part of the journey of life. We can treasure those moments when they are passed because of what we have gained from having walked through them. For better or for worse, it's one more little piece affecting who we are...

Quiero...

Since I've been posting so much Ricardo Arjona, I thought I would include this video, too. It has a special place in my heart since it is the first of his songs I heard knowing it was him. My only reservation about this one is that I have prayed for Saddam Hussein too much to be able to refer to him as "el idiota mas grande del mundo." Apart from that, I think the song is beautiful. He sings about things he would like to do, all leading up to his desire to forget the one he loves who is not part of his life anymore. On a side note, I came across this biographical information on Ricardo Arjona on Amazon the other day: It says he gave up a career as a basketball player to pursue his career in music. At first, he moved to Mexico City to record his first CD, but they cast him as a romantic figure and the album failed. He then taught primary school for several years before moving to Buenos Aires to try music again, staying true to his own voice this time. That's when he was successful.